What’s the most painful video ever you’ve ever seen? Imagine if you could magically reward your pain for a watching a video of, say, a disabled person in a wheelchair falling backwards with the hilarity of watching a cat in a fabulous blue shirt. That’s where playhimoffkeyboardcat.com comes in. The story is almost like something that would come straight out of the Bible: “First came Charlie Schmidt and Fatso. Then Brad O’Farrell mashed them together“. I’d embed an example video but it’s impossible to pick just one. It seems like the more uncomfortable a video makes you feel, the bigger the payoff with Keyboard cat really is.

Above is Soulja Boy with his latest masterpiece Gucci Bandana. As far as I can tell, he was rhyming “Gucci ban-dahn-nuh” with “Gucci Gucci ban-dahn-nuh” for the first 50 seconds. That’s when I gave up listening. In an interview with MTV news, he said he wants “from start to finish, classic #1 records” collaborating with the likes of Jay-Z, Kanye West and Lil Wayne. I’m not sure if this song is supposed to be in any way ironic (if ironic meant something totally different).

I’m waiting on Jay-Z’s Blueprint 3 to save Hippity Hoppity. Stay tuned for a classic pre-90s hip-hop mixtape. I’m not entirely sure what exactly you should stay tuned to but my RSS feed is equally as useful and you can find that here.

I’m calling this year’s winner right here, right now. Using my cunning, guile and the ability to read the 11/8 odds given on paddypower.com, Norway literally have it in the bag this year. I’m not sure what it is or how big the bag is but it’s in there before the competition has even reached the finals.

As renowned YouTube critic 1poiuztrewq2 notes in the comments section to the winning Norway entry: “Europeans don’t know how to make good music except for the UK (Rolling Stones etc) and Germany/Austria (Mozart, Handel, Bach). Try selling this shit in the States lmao…”. Indeed, good sir. After the break, I will try selling this shit to any American readers. 

Here’s Alexander Rybak (known for playing David Platt in Coronation Street) with “Fairytale”:

Here’s Bosnia And Herziginova’s entry “Bistra Voda” also known as the worst Coldplay tribute act in the world:

Ukraine have decided to enter a woman named Svetlana Loboda with her brilliantly titled “Be My Valentine! (Anti-crisis Girl)”. Warning: I’m not sure if a womand showering in chocolate is NSFW:

What Ukraine should have entered is the amazing cover of a Katy Perry song. If you choose to watch only one of these videos, make it this one:

That La Roux is so hot right now. At the time of writing, the second single In For The Kill is sitting pretty at number 21 in the Irish weekly charts. It’s a very impressive feat considering Journey’s Don’t Stop Believing can only reach number 50 this week. Pffft, amateurs… I was going to rely on Wikipedia to fill valuable column inches here but since there’s barely anything interesting to say about them other than the fact that lead singer Elly Jackson is the daughter of Trudie Goodwin (megastar of The Bill), I’ve done my own research:

• La Roux is the 10784th most popular baby name at mybabyname.com placing it in the top 15%.
• Roux is a cooked mixture of wheat flour and fat, traditionally clarified butter. It is the thickening agent of four of the mother sauces of classical French cooking: sauce béchamel, sauce velouté, Allemande, and sauce espagnole. Butter, vegetable oils, or lard are common fats used.
• Lead singer Elly Jackson’s hairstyle is heavily influenced by Conan O’Brien (photographic proof here).
• One day, Elly will become the greatest Tilda Swinton impersonator ever at parties. More celebrity impersonator hilarity can be found here. I double dare you to hire this guy for children’s parties.
• The self-titled debut album will be released on June 29th 2009 to coincide with Gary Busey’s birthday (this fact is mostly true).

The Bulletproof music video is after the break.

If you liked La Roux, check out: Chromeo, The Knife, Hot Chip, Tears For Fears, Blondie, Eurythmics, The Cure.

Those who have read my previous websites over the last 5 years may have noticed that I’ve dropped the whole Pedro Monscooch pseudonym (that means it’s a makey uppy name). This blog will be updated with random pop culture every week- Monday to Friday only because the internet closes on weekends.

The best way for me to give you and indication of what to expect from me and this blog, I’ve posted a little something that perfectly captures the inside of my head. Think of it as the blog’s manifesto but in music video format. Check it out after the break.

That was Apache by popular Danish singer, composer, organist, pianist and producer Tommy Seebach. Without this glorious song and drug-fueled video we wouldn’t have one of The Sugarhill Gangs’ biggest hits or one of the best TV moments ever courtesy of Will The Thrill and Boogaloo Shrimp. And for that, we should all be grateful.